Blonde Jokes

Joke: A blonde woman was going through a very difficult time in her life. She lost her job, her family, and all of her money. With nothing left to do, she decided to pray, "God, please let me win the lottery. I've lost everything." But the lottery came and she didn't win.

She prayed once again, "God, I know the chance of winning the lottery is low, but I need it. Please let me win." But once again the lottery came and went and she didn't win.

At this point she started to get angry with God, "Listen here God, I need to win the lottery. You owe me that much."

Suddenly light beams descend from the sky and God appears before her. She asks him, "God, why can't you just let me win?"

God shakes his head and said, "I'm doing everything I can. Could you meet me half way and actually buy a ticket?."

Joke: Two blondes are standing on opposite sides of a river. One yells to the other, "How did you get to the other side!"

The other blonde replies "Don't ask me, you're the one on the other side."

Joke: A blonde woman walks into a library and walks up to the librarian. She tells her "I'll have a double cheese burger, medium fries, and a large drink."

The librarian, slightly annoyed, tells her "Honey, this is a library. Not a McDonald's."

The blonde, extremely embarrassed, whispers "I'm sorry. I'll have a double cheese burger, medium fries, and a large drink."

Joke: A blonde wife texts her husband while he is at work saying "Windows frozen."

He responds "Pour some room temperature water over it."

She texts him "No longer frozen, computers dead."

Joke: A blonde goes on a hot date and they end up making out in his car. he asks the blonde, "You want to get in the back seat?"

She replies, "No!"

Things continue to get hotter and he asks her again. She replies, "No!."

He asks her why she refuses and she replies, "I want to stay up here with you."