Blonde Jokes

 

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Joke: A large group of blondes gathered in the middle of New York City to prove once and for all they are smart people. They challenged everybody to ask any of them any question.

A man approaches them and accepts their challenge. He randomly picks a blonde woman and asks her "What is the first letter of the alphabet?"

The woman replies "V!" The man tells her she is wrong and the group begins to chant "One more chance! One more chance!"

The man replies "Okay okay. What is the capital of New York?"

The woman yells "Toronto!" The crowd chants again "One more chance! One more chance!"

The man indulges them "Okay fine, final chance. What is two plus two?"

The woman yells "Four!" The crowd chants again "One more chance! One more chance!"


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Joke: Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop when a bus pulls up. The first blonde leans into the bus and asks "Will this bus take me to 1st Avenue?"

The bus driver tells her no. The second blonde leans in and whispers "What about me?"


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Joke: A blonde, brunette, and a red head are stuck on the roof of a house. Fire fighters are holding a blanket for them to jump onto. They tell the brunette to jump to safety. When she jumps they pull the blanket away and she hurts her butt.

Next the fire fighters tell the red head she needs to jump or she'll never get down. She refuses because she is scared they will pull the blanket away. They tell her "It was an accident." So she jumps and they pull the blanket away. She hurts her butt and yells at them.

Finally the blonde gets smart and tells them "I know what you're going to do. Just lay the blanket on the ground and back away."


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Joke: A man approaches a blonde woman and asks her "Do you get many blonde jokes?"

She replies "No."

The man says "That's what I thought."


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Joke: A blonde woman decides to start a handyman service to make some extra money. She walks around a wealthy neighborhood and walks up to the first house.

A man answers the door and she asks if there is anything she can do. He tells her "The porch need painted, how much would that cost?"

She replies "How does $50 sound?" He agrees and she gets to work.

When the man goes back into his house his wife asks him "Does she know the porch wraps around the house?" He tells her "She has to, she saw it."

About an hour later she comes to the door to collect her money. She says "I had extra paint so I put on two coats." The man is really impressed and gives her the money. She thanks him and says "And by the way, it's a BMW, not a porch."


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