Funny Jokes

Joke: What do you call an angry grandpa?

Joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes?

Joke: In the middle of a flight a man stands up, turns around, and yells, "Hijack!"

Everybody freaks out. Men begin to cower and women begin to weep. Suddenly a man in the back of the plane stands up and says, "Hi Ahmed! How are the kids?"

Joke: John was feeling guilty, so he went to church for a confession.
John: Forgive me Father, I have sinned. I stole some wood from a construction site.
The priest: Well what did you do with the lumber my son?
John: Well my sons wheelchair ramp was broken so I fixed it.
The priest: At least you did good with it.
John: Wait father, I had some wood left.
The priest: What did you do with it?
John: My dog was cold so I built him a house.
The priest: I guess you still did good with it.
John: Wait father, I had some wood left.
The priest: What did you do with it?
John: My car was cold, so I built it a two-car garage to keep it warm.
The priest: That is a little out of hand...
John: But father, I still had a little wood left. My wife had always wanted a bigger house, so I built a second floor for our house.
The priest: Whoa! That's way too much! You are going to have to make a Novena for penance. Do you know how to make a Novena?
John: No, but if you have the plans I have plenty of wood.

Joke: Two men are playing golf together when they catch up to a couple of ladies who are playing very slowly. One of the men decides to ask them if they can play through but as he approaches them he realizes the women are his wife and mistress.

He tells the second man about the situation so the second man decides he will ask. He quickly turns around and says, "Small world."