Funny Jokes

Joke: A man in a bar sees a friend at a table drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments "You look terrible. What's the problem?"

"My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000."

"Gee, that's tough," he replied.

"Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000."

"Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed."

"And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000."

"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."

"And this month," continued, the friend sadly, "Nothing."

Joke: Which stores have the most attractive baggers?

Joke: How is a dutch stripper like liquid Drano?

Joke: Three prostitutes walk into a bar. The first one holds up four fingers, "I can take this inside of me!"

The second one holds up a fist, "I can take all of this."

The last prostitute, with a smile, slowly slides down the stool.

Joke: A man and his wife have been happily married for 50 years and are out golfing like they often do. As the husband is teeing off he confesses, "I have something terrible to tell you, but I really hope you forgive me. Right after we got married I cheated on you. It was only once and it was a huge mistake, I've regretted it ever since."

His wife replies as she steps up to the tee, "I accept that and I understand. I have something I need to tell you."

The husband replies, "Anything honey, I'm just happy you're so relaxed about my mistake."

She tells him, "About a year before I met you, I had a sex change operation. I used to be a man."

He is shocked, "You son of a gun... How could you? For all of these years you've been teeing off from the ladies tee box you cheater!"