Funny Jokes

Joke: A man goes door-to-door selling vacuums and knocks on his first door. A big unkempt woman answers the door but before she can say anything he slips past her into the house. He immediately throws dog poop on the floor. She yells at him, "What are you doing?!"

He tells her, "If this vacuum doesn't clean this up I'll eat whatever's left."

She smiles and replies, "I'll grab you a fork. I haven't paid the electric bill in months."

Joke: A man boards a train and discovers that he is sitting next to the pope. He sits down but is way to shy to speak. He notices that the pope is doing a crossword puzzle and gets excited because he is very good at crossword puzzles.

Sure enough, the pope asks him for help a few minutes later, "What is a four letter word for a woman that ends with u-n-t?"

The man quickly responds, "I think you're looking for the word 'Aunt'."

The pope replies, "Oh! Of course... Do you have an eraser?"

Joke: What did the green grape say to the purple one?

Joke: A blonde walks into a bar. Shortly after another blonde walks into a bar. Ten seconds later two more blondes walk into the bar.

You think they would have caught on after the first two blondes didn't duck.

Joke: Two silk worms got into a fight! It ended in a tie.