# JokeLikeMeAkbar

About: I like to share my jokes and riddles. Plss, like and share them whether you like it or not.

Website: http://goodriddlesnow.com/

### Author's Riddles

##### I'm afraid of dark (medium)

Question: I only come out when I see lights My colour is opposite of white Mostly, you don’t realize that I’m with you If you leave me, I’ll keep follow you I’ll always copy whatever you do You can’t touch me and I can’t touch you What am I?

##### The Weight Lifting Challenge (medium)

Question: Alex was the strongest man in the world. He can lift up something that weighs 1000 kg easily. He can even pick up five women at once without any pain. But one day, there was a Weight Lifting Challenge Show. All the top 5 strongest man entered including Alex. The challenge is that they each have to lift up a really heavy object which weighs 1005 kg for five minutes. The winner is who didn’t drop it until it reached the time. If they all did it, the judges will decide to give first place to a person who can lift it up easily and stand still with no trouble looking. If Alex was the strongest man, he’ll probably come first. But he came second instead when the challenge was over. Why?

##### Who paid? (medium)

Question: Tuesday, Tom and Joe went to a restaurant and ate dinner. When they were done they paid for the food and left. But Tom and Joe didn't pay for the food. Who did?

##### A little pool with 2 layers (medium)

Question: A little pool with 2 layers of wall around it. One white and soft and the other dark and hard, amidst a light brown grassy lawn with an outline of a green grass. What am I?

##### SCARY to ALONE (medium)

Question: To get to the word SCARY to ALONE, changing only one letter at a time to make 8 different words including SCARY and ALONE.

##### Group of three (medium)

Question: I give you a group of three. One is sitting down, and will never get up. The second eats as much as is given to him, yet is always hungry. The third goes away and never returns.

##### Impossible (medium)

Question: A spirited jig it dances bright, Banishing all but darkest night. Fire can't kill it but water can. Share it, it won't get less unless wind will ruin it.

##### Piano or Keyboard? (medium)

Question: You may enter, but you may not come in, I have space, but no room, I have keys, but open no lock. What am I?

##### Happy Deaths (medium)

Question: When it is alive we sing, when it is dead we clap our hands. What is it?

##### Miss Gold the destroyer (medium)

Question: Its pure body is destroyed after it meets Miss Gold. It can get shorter when it gets older but wind will extinguish it. It love to glow. Breath is its foe. What is it?

##### Not a baby, man, monkey and bird (medium)

Question: It's not a baby though you hold in the arms close to your bosom. It's not an Indian man though it has long beard. It's not a monkey though its tail is bent. It's not a bird though it has beautiful voice. What am I?

##### Heaven and Hell (medium)

Question: There were 2 doors. Behind the 1 door, is hell and behind the other door, is heaven but you don't know which door will take you to heaven. In front of them, there were 2 brothers, which is guarding the door. One of the brother always lie and the other one always tell the truth. Of course you don't know who is lying and who is not. You only get 1 question to ask one of them to figure out which door leads to heaven. What question you might ask? Remember you only get to ask 1 question. it means that you can't ask one question each of them. that will be 2 questions. You only ask 1 question to any of them and no more. How do you do that?

##### Green Village (medium)

Question: There was a green village. Inside the green village, there is a white house. Inside the white house, there is a red room. Inside the red room, there are black eggs. What it is?

##### Cutting Skin (medium)

Question: Cut my skin out. I'm not going to cry, but you will! What am I?

##### Green Village (medium)

Question: There was a green village. Inside the green village, there is a white house. Inside the white house, there is a red room. Inside the red room, there is black babies. What it is?

##### Green Village (medium)

Question: There was a green village. Inside the green village, there is a white house. Inside the white house, there is a red room. Inside the red room, there is black peoples. What it is?

##### 3 runners (medium)

Question: 2 men and a boy started a never ending race. One of the men can run super fast while the other man can run way faster than the boy. The boy is the slowest runner. What are they?

##### The Traveler (medium)

Question: A traveler is walking in the jungle. Then he found 4 paths. In the first one has a really deep mud. When people go there, they never come back. Second path have broken tracks, which is really unsafe for the people who take this path. In the third path, there is lion who didn't eat and drink anything for 3 months, so it might be really hungry by now. Last one have dinosaurs and volcanoes, so it's a very dangerous place. So, which path is the best for the traveler to take.

### Author's Jokes

##### Joke #2808

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Joke: A man bought a golden ring for his blind wife at night. “I brought something for you. You might like it,” the man said. “What is it honey?” his wife asked. “It’s the Golden Ring,” the man replied. “Oh, sound’s good. Can I wear it now?” the wife asked. “Sure, it’s yours,” the man said. He took it from the box but it fell. He crawled and searched for the ring but something told him that the ring was not around in this area. So he sprinted outside where the streetlights were and he started to do the same thing again. A moment later, Mr Mallard (The man’s neighbour) was walking down the street and saw the man crawling. “Are you finding something, Daniel?” Mr Mallard asked. “Oh yes, I’m finding the golden ring,” Daniel replied. “Where did you lose it?” Mr Mallard asked. “I lost it at home,” Daniel replied. “So, why don’t you find it at home then?” Mr Mallard asked. “Well, there were no lights in my house and it’s really dark,” Daniel replied. “You lost that ring in your house. So you’ll probably find it around somewhere where you lost it,” Mr Mallard said. “You know that my eyes don’t work very well and the doctor told me not to search anything in the dark whether it's really important or not. I’ll knock my head again if I don't listen to him. I can't believe it. He was right. He'll be proud of me if I tell him what I did now,” Daniel cried.

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##### Joke #2806

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Joke: What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a chocolate bar?

Punch line: "Trike or Treat?"

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##### Joke #2803

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Joke: The classroom was silent. Mrs Smith was handing out to students their last homework sheet. As she did it, she wrote the word plenipotentiary on the whiteboard. Then she turned around and said, " Attention boys and girls. This word is almost hardest English word in the world. So, your job is to put this word into a sentence. I'll give you an example for flower. "In the middle of the circle was a large teardrop shaped flower garden". You see? Nice and easy. Now, whoever made a sentence for the word plenipotentiary, there will be no homework for a month for him or her. So, start now. PLENIPOTENTIARY." Nobody seemed to do it but a boy called Darrell ( Stupidest kid in the classroom) far in the back raised his hand. Everybody stared at him and opened their mouth. Even Mrs Smith. " Oh Darrell, don't tell me you got it. I mean it is impossible for you to get the right answer for easy questions in the first place." Mrs Smith embarrassed him. Nearly everyone laughed. " No Miss, I actually got it. So here it goes, " In the classroom, the teacher shouted out the word plenipotentiary." " Darrell replied. Later, he went home knowing that he don't have to do homework for a month.

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##### Joke #2802

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Joke: The bell rang 1 hour ago. Four boys rushed to the classroom and stopped when they saw their mad teacher called Mrs Smith, crossed her arms and looking disappointedly at them. She told them to lined up and asked reasons for being late for school to each of them. " Ryan, why are you late?" Mrs Smith asked. " Well, my watch is 30 minutes late." Ryan replied. " And Jack, why are you late?" Mrs Smith asked Jack. " Because, my dad's car tires burned out. So it took him 45 minutes to fix it." Jack replied. " How about you Aden? Why are you late?" Mrs Smith asked Aden. " I had a big breakfast this morning so, I walk slowly to school." Aden replied. As soon as Aden finished, Oliver started to cry. " What's wrong Oliver? I didn't even ask you yet." Mrs Smith asked Oliver. Oliver replies, " I know. I'm just crying because they all said my excuses which is I'm going to say it." Then, Mrs Smith yelled out, " WHAT!"

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##### Joke #2801

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Joke: Yo mama is so dumb not even Google could translate her.

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##### Joke #2800

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Joke: Yo Mama is so fat that the National Weather Service named each of her farts.

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##### Joke #2799

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Joke: What do you call a huge mushroom?

Punch line: An umbrella

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##### Joke #2798

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Joke: What do you call the white umbrella and too small to cover you from rain?

Punch line: A Mushroom

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##### Joke #2793

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Joke: What is the difference between the teacher and the train?

Punch line: Teacher said " Spit out of your chewing gum." But the train said " Chew chew."

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##### Joke #2742

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Joke: Four boys were late for school. The teacher started to ask them. Teacher said " Ryan, Why do you late?" Ryan replied "Well, my watch is 30 minutes late." Teacher said " Jack, why do you late? Jack replied " Because the tires burned out, so it takes 20 minutes to fix it. Teacher said " Aden, why do you late?" Aden replied " I had a big breakfast this morning, so i walk slowly to school." As soon as Aden finished, Oliver started to cry. Teacher said " Oliver why are you crying? I didn't even ask you yet. Oliver replies " They all said that excuses which is I'm going to say it."

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##### Joke #2711

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Joke: Four boys were late for school. So the teacher ask them. Teacher: " Ryan, why were you late?" Ryan: " Because, my clock was 15 minutes late." Teacher: " Josh, why were you late?" Josh: " Because, tires got flat." Teacher: " Zack, why were you late?" Zack: " Because, I ate a lot of food this morning, so I walk slowly to school." After Zack finished, Oliver started to cry. The teacher asked " Why are you crying Oliver? I didn't even ask you yet." Oliver replies " They all said the excuses I am going to say." Teacher: "WHAT!"

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##### Joke #2709

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Joke: Why does the boy take a ladder to school?

Punch line: Because he want to go to high school.

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