Short Jokes

Joke: A grocer puts up a sign above his turkeys, "$5 each or $20 for three."

All day long people approach him outraged by his incorrect math, "It should be $15 for three, I'll just buy them separately."

All day people come buy and just buy them separately for less after yelling at him.

After one of his employees watch this go on all day he asks him, "Are you going to fix the sign or what?"

The grocer replies, "What do I need to fix? Before I put up the sign nobody bought three turkeys."

Joke: Some students are supposed to prove all odd numbers are prime. The first student says "3 is prime, 5 is prime, and 7 is prime. So by induction, all odd numbers are prime."

The physics student doesn't like this so he says "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is experimental error. So all odd numbers are prime."

The computer scientist doesn't like how long that method takes so he writes a program to test numbers for them. He runs the program and reads the output "1 is prime, 1 is prime, 1 is prime."

Joke: A man has a curse, he is only able to say a single word every year. But if he doesn't say a word that year he can say two the next year, then three, and so on.

One day he meets a beautiful woman and wants to ask her to marry him, but he has no words saved up so he must wait four years.

So he waits four years and he is finally able to ask her the question. He looks her in the eyes and says "Will you marry me?"

She looks back at him with a smile and twinkle in her eye and replies "Come again?"

Joke: Sherlock Homes and his partner, Watson, are going camping. After a few hours of sleeping under their tent, Sherlock wakes up Watson. When Watson finally wakes up, Sherlock says "Watson, look up, what do you see?" "I see billions of millions of stars in the distant universe." Replied Watson. In respones, Sherlock says "And what can you conclude from that?" Watson begins to go deep into the theory of space, but less than three sentences in, Sherlock cuts of Watson and says "No you idiot, it means someone stole our tent."

Joke: A kid takes a chemistry test, but in order to pass the class he has to get a perfect score on the test. He studied hard, but when he gets it back he got 1 question wrong. The question was "How many valence electrons does hydrogen have?" In a rush he answered "2".

Depressed, he walks home. But as he is walking he kicks a random lamp. He picks up the lamp and suddenly a genie flies out of it. He says "I will grant you one wish!"

The kid replies "I wish got that question right," and the universe explodes.