Short Jokes

Joke: A boss finds one of his blonde employees crying in her cubicle. He asks her what's wrong and she tells him, "My mom died!"

He tells her, "I'm sorry, you should take the rest of the day off to be with your family."

The blonde replies, "But that's not even the worse thing that happened... My sister just called, and her mom died too!"

Joke: A mathematician, a statistician, and an accountant are all up for the same job. The board asks each of them the same section, "What is 100 + 200?"

The mathematician replies, "300."

The statistician replies, "300, with 95 % certainty."

The accountant says in a hushed voice, "What do you want it to be?" He gets the job.

Joke: A lady walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. He asks her, "Why would you want arsenic?"

She replies, "To kill my husband!"

He replies, "I'm not selling you arsenic for that!"

She hands him a photo of her husband with his wife in bed. The pharmacist replies, "Oh, I didn't know you had a prescription!"

Joke: There was a boy who didn't know the meaning of pregnant, so he went to his mom to ask but his mom looked at him in anger that's why he thought pregnant means anger. The next day, he fell on the neighbor's girl. The girl's mom then said to the boy: "What insolent behavior is this?" So the boy answered, "I fell on the girl. Why are you getting pregnant?"

Joke: A man has always had the dream of being in a circus. He approaches a man in charge of a circus and tells him, "I can do the best bird impression you have ever seen."

The man in charge says, "That's nothing special, a lot of people can do bird impressions."

The man turns and says, "Okay." Then he starts to flap his arms and flies away.