Short Jokes

Joke: A blonde goes to the hospital with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her, "How did you manage this?"

The blonde replies, "Well I was ironing and recieved a phone call. I accidentally picked up the iron instead of the phone."

The doctor says, "That explains one ear."

She replies, "Well they called again!"

Joke: A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"

The man gets really indignant and says "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

Joke: Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.

The Lord's prayer: 66 words.

Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.

The 10 Commandments: 179 words.

The Gettysburg address: 286 words.

The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words.

The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words.

Joke: A mother and her son go to church and the son says "Mom, I have to go pee!"

The mom says "You shouldn't say that in church. From now on just say you have to whisper."

The next week when the boy's father takes him to church the boy says "Dad, I have to whisper."

The dad replies "Okay... Just whisper into my ear."

Joke: A man walks up to another man and asks him , "Are you a lawyer?"

The other man replies, "Yes I am."

The other guy asks, "How much do you charge?"

The lawyer replies, "$500 per 4 questions."

The other guy replies, "Isn't that a little much?"

The lawyer replies, "Maybe, you have one more question."