Short Jokes

Joke: Two men are working on a telephone pole. A little old lady walks by and one of the men yell to her, "Hey lady, can you move that wire off of the sidewalk for us!"

She picks it up and moves it from the sidewalk. The second electrician says, "I told you it wasn't live."

Joke: A man's wife yells up the stairs to him, "The sun's finally come out!" He quickly throws shorts, flip flops, and a tank top on.

When he runs down stairs he sees his son holding his friend Tom's hand. The man's wife looks at him shocked, and says, "Oh God, not you too."

Joke: A large man went to the doctor and the doctor told him to lose some weight. The man asked him how. The doctor replies, "Don't eat anything fatty."

The man asks, "You mean like fast food, chips, and cookies?"

The doctor replies, "No, don't eat anything. Fatty!"

Joke: Once a woman met a man at a party whom she hated and he hated in return. After a long bout of angry stares and squabbles she turns to him and says 'Sir, if you were my husband I would give you poison.' The man responds by saying 'Madam, if you were my wife I would drink it.'

Joke: A man owns a rabbit farm and is known around the world for his rabbits who can lift more than any man. A little boy asks him "How do you keep your rabbits so strong?"

The man replies, "It's no secret." He pulls out a bottle of shampoo and says, "Keeps your hares strong!"