Long Jokes

Joke: A man and his wife are in front of a judge deciding who gets them. The wife tells the judge, "I'm their mother. I birthed them and I should get to raise them."

The judge then turns to the father and asks for his reasoning. The man thinks for a while and retorts, "If I put a $1.50 into a pop machine and a coke comes out, the does the machine get the coke?"

Joke: An Asian woman goes to the bank to exchange some Yen for dollars. She hands the teller the same amount as she did the previous day but gets less American dollars in return. She asks the tell, "Why I get less today? Before I get a hundret and now only eighty?"

The teller tells her, "Fluctuations."

The lady replies, "Fluck you white people too!"

Joke: Math Guy 1: Hey, if you take all of my past girlfriends they form a group.

Math Guy 2: How so?

Math Guy 1: If you put any 2 of them together they'll talk about another one.

Math Guy 2: But who's the identity?

Math Guy 1: I had a thing with a psychiatrist a while back...

Joke: A knight and his men come back to the castle after a long day. The king asks him, "How are we faring?"

The knight replies, "Sire, I have been robbing, pillaging and burning down the towns of your enemies in the north all day long."

The king shrieks, "What?! I have no enemies in the north!"

The night replies, "Oh... You do now."

Joke: Three foreign guys came to america, and they knew no english. the first guy liked watching dora, and learned the phrase: "we did it!" the second guy liked going to restarantus, so he learned the phrase: "forks and knives". finally they all went to a candy store and the third guy learned:"he stole my lollipop". click on show punchline to see what happens.