Long Jokes

Joke: A boss was complaining in a staff meeting one day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said, "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

Joke: Bill Gates was out fishing when his pole started to jiggle. He reels in the fish and the fish asks him, "Please don't eat me, can't you throw me back?"

Bill replies, "Woah, a talking fish! I was going to throw you back anyways."

The fish swims away then turns back, "Now that you let me go, how about a wish?"

Mr. Gates replies, "Okay, what do you want?"

Joke: A blonde woman walks into a library and walks up to the librarian. She tells her "I'll have a double cheese burger, medium fries, and a large drink."

The librarian, slightly annoyed, tells her "Honey, this is a library. Not a McDonald's."

The blonde, extremely embarrassed, whispers "I'm sorry. I'll have a double cheese burger, medium fries, and a large drink."

Joke: Two men are playing golf together when they catch up to a couple of ladies who are playing very slowly. One of the men decides to ask them if they can play through but as he approaches them he realizes the women are his wife and mistress.

He tells the second man about the situation so the second man decides he will ask. He quickly turns around and says, "Small world."

Joke: A woman walks up to the checkout line at a store with these items: 2% milk, bread, Pepsi, macaroni, and cookies. She sees a drunk man. The man says "You must be single."

The woman is startled. How could he have known? He didn't see her hands and the man couldn't have figured it out from her items. "How did you know?" she asked.

He replied, "Cause your ugly!"