Good Jokes

Joke: I was alone and very depressed last night, so I called a Life Line. Got a friggin' Call Center in Pakistan by mistake. Told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck. Bastards.

Joke: A man is on a long flight and he starts shaking. A flight attendant notices he is disturbed and asks him if she can do anything to calm him down. He says yes so she brings him a drink.

An hour later he is shaking again but even worse. So she gets him another drink and brings it to him.

Another hour goes by and now he is crying. The flight attendant approaches him and the man yells "Why are you people doing this to me?"

The flight attendant replies "Sir calm down, why are you so afraid of flying?"

The man replies "Flying? I'm trying to get sober!"

Joke: A man with a dog walks into a bank that has a sign reading "No dogs." A security guard walks up to him and asks "Did you read the sign? No dogs."

The man replies "I know. Someone should fix that. It should say one dog."

Joke: When Chuck Norris does a pushup, it isn't called a push-up. It's called an earth-down.

Joke: What is an owl's favorite subject?