Good Jokes

Joke: A lawyer is getting out of his Rolls Royce and a truck slams into his car. He yells, "What the heck are you doing?!"

The driver replies, "Are you serious, you car so much about money you didn't even notice your arm is missing?"

At this point the lawyer freaks out, "And my Rolex!"

Joke: Ozzy Osbourne stole the idea of biting a bats head off from Chuck Norris... The only difference is that Chuck used a pterodactyl.

Joke: A blonde woman walks into a library and walks up to the librarian. She tells her "I'll have a double cheese burger, medium fries, and a large drink."

The librarian, slightly annoyed, tells her "Honey, this is a library. Not a McDonald's."

The blonde, extremely embarrassed, whispers "I'm sorry. I'll have a double cheese burger, medium fries, and a large drink."

Joke: Customer: The new one I bought from you sucks more than the old one!
Customer service: I'm glad to hear you are satisfied with your new vacuum sir.

Joke: What'd the fish say when it swam into a wall?