16 ratings
0 saves
Joke: An Englishman is walking down the Irish countryside and stops at a river to take a drink. He cups a hand and gets some water. Just as he is about to drink a shepherd yells to him in a thick Irish accent, "Don't drink out the river, it's full of sheep pee!"
The Englishman replies, "I don't understand a word you are saying. I'm English. What'd you say?"
The shepherd replies, "Use both hands, you'll get more that way."
65 ratings
10 saves
By mamtoralol
Joke: The Wonderful Husbandπ°.... Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: 'Hello' WOMAN: 'Honey, πit's me... R u at the club?' MAN: 'Yes'π WOMAN: 'I'm at the City Centre mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000 Is it OK if I buy it?' MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you really like it.'π WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2013 Models. I saw one π I really liked.' MAN: 'How much?' WOMAN: '$98,000' MAN: 'OK, but for that price make sure it comes with all the options.' WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing, the house π‘I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking for $980,000/-.' MAN: 'well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, go the extra 50 thousand if you think it's really a pretty good price.' WOMAN: 'OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much! Youβre so generous!' MAN: βYouβre worth it. 'Bye!' The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, with mouths wide open π§ The man turns and asks "Anybody knows whose phoneπ± this is?" πππππ³π
8 ratings
2 saves
Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
I love that show.
8 ratings
2 saves
Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
I scream.
I scream who?
What are you? An angry owl?
8 ratings
0 saves
Joke: What do you call Minnesota when it snows?
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