Good Jokes

Joke: The past, present and future walked into a bar... It was tense!

Joke: What happened when the wheel was invented?

Joke: A man charged with assault and battery insisted at his trial that he had just pushed his victim "a little bit". When he was pressured by the prosecutor to illustrate just how hard it was, the defendant approached the lawyer, slapped him in the face, grabbed him firmly by the lapels, and flung him over the table and across the room..

He then faced judge and jury and calmly declared, "I would say it was about one-tenth as hard as that."

Joke: Stalin is giving a big speech when somebody sneezes, he abruptly stops, "Who was that?"

Nobody says a word. Stalin commands, "Execute the first row." The guards do so. "Now who was it?!"

Again nobody says anything. He commands, "Now the second row."

At this point a meek voice chirps, "It was me."

Stalin looks at the man and leans forward, "Bless you, comrade!"

Joke: Two men lost separated from their wives at a festival and are looking for them. They decide to help each other out. One man asks the other, "So what does your wife look like?"

He pulls out a picture and replies, "She's tall, blonde, fit, huge tits, voluptuous ass, beautiful face and loves sex. How about your wife?"

The other guy grabs the photo, "Screw her, lets just find yours."