Good Jokes

Joke: Three blondes are walking in the forest when they come across some tracks. The first blonde says "These are definitely rabbit tracks."

The second blonde says "Are you crazy? These are bear tracks."

The final blonde says "You're both wrong, these are moose tracks."

They argued for hours until finally the train hit them.

Joke: A pregnant woman asked her boss if she could have the day off because she wasn't feeling too well. He tells her the only way she is leaving work is if she starts her contractions. So she yells "Can't, didn't, won't, shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't!"

Joke: Two sisters, one is blonde and one is brunette, are trying to start a farm. The brunette sister finds a prized bull in the classified and leaves to check it out. She tells the blonde that she will contact her to come haul the bull back to the farm if she decides to buy it.

The brunette goes to the farm and decides to buy it. The farmer tells her that the bull will cost exactly $599, no less. So she buys the bull and heads to town to contact her sister. The only person she can find to help her is a telegraph operator.

The operator tells her "It costs 99 cents per word, what would you like to send?"

The brunette replies "Well I only have $1 left." She thinks for a while and tells the operator she wants to send the word 'comfortable.'

The operator asks "How will she know you bought the bull and want her to bring the haul from the word comfortable?"

The blonde replies "She's a slow reader."

Joke: A new father is sitting down with his father for a drink. His dad tells him, "Now that you're a father yourself it's time I give you something."

He replies, "Dad, you're not talking about-."

His father interrupts, "Yes. It's time." With this he hands him a copy of '1000 Dad Jokes, 6th Edition' to his son.

He says with a tear in his eye, "Dad, I'm honored."

"Hi honored," his father replies, "I'm dad."

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Nobody
Nobody who?
...