Good Jokes

Joke: The Pope arrives in New York and gets in his Limo. While driving the Pope asks his driver, "May I drive?"

The driver can't refuse since he's the Pope and all, so the pope hops into the driver seat and the driver into the back.

It's been a very long time since the pop has driven himself so he is a terrible driver. He swerves in and out of traffic and eventually gets pulled over. The police officer that pulled him over approaches the driver but immediately goes back to his cruiser. He tells his partner, "There is an extremely important person in the limo."

His partner asks, "Is it the mayor?"

The cop replies, "Bigger!"

His partner asks, "Is it the governor?"

Again the cop says, "Bigger!"

His partner replies, "It couldn't be the president?!"

The cop says, "I don't know. But whoever it is has the frickin' Pope driving him around!"

Joke: A panda walks into a bar and after thinking it over, the bartender lets him stay. The panda eats his dinner and asks for a check. He looks at the check, nods his head, and shoots the waiter in the knee. The bartender runs over and looks at the table. The panda had left an open dictionary of the table, turned to the page with 'panda' on it. He reads the description "Panda; n. Large mammal from central Asia. Eats shoots and leaves."

Joke: What flies and helps people?

Joke: Yo mama's so ugly, the Kool-Aid guy broke through her wall and yelled "Oh no!"

Joke: Yo mama's so ugly, she went to take a bath and the water jumped out!