Good Jokes

Joke: A pirate walks into a bar with an eyepatch, pegleg, and hook for a hand. The bartender notices his leg, "How did you get that pegleg?"

The pirate replies, "It were many years ago. I were walkin' on the deck when a wave swept a shark aboard. The shark bit my leg off!"

"Wow," replies the bartender. "What about that hand?"

The pirate replies, "It were many years ago. I were walkin' on the deck when a wave swept a killer whale aboard. The whale bit my leg off!"

"Oh," replies the bartender. "How about the eye?"

The pirate replies, "It were many years ago. I were walkin' on the deck when a seagull came outta nowhere and pooped in my eye."

"And that blinded you?" asked the bartender.

"No, it twas my first day with the hook."

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Isabelle
Isabelle who?
Isabelle really necessary for a bike?

Joke: Yo mama jokes are so overused and old... Just like yo mama!

Joke: Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I gave you two cats, then two more, and two more cats; how many would you have?"

Little Johnny replies, "Seven!"

His teacher asks him again more slowly, "If I gave you two cats, then two more, and two more cats; how many would you have?"

But again Little Johnny replies, "Seven!"

Next she asks, "If I get two cats, then two more, and two more cats; how many would I have?"

Little Johnny replies, "Six!"

"Good Job Johnny! Now if I gave you two cats, then two more, and two more cats; how many would you have?"

Johnny thinks for a second, "Seven."

His teacher gets mad, "Johnny, where do you get seven?!"

Johnny replies, "You gave me six cats, and I already have a freaking cat!"

Joke: What's the difference between Alcoholics Anonymous and Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous?