Good Jokes

Joke: The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into production. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

Joke: Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the 13th... The next day he won the lottery.

Joke: A grocer puts up a sign above his turkeys, "$5 each or $20 for three."

All day long people approach him outraged by his incorrect math, "It should be $15 for three, I'll just buy them separately."

All day people come buy and just buy them separately for less after yelling at him.

After one of his employees watch this go on all day he asks him, "Are you going to fix the sign or what?"

The grocer replies, "What do I need to fix? Before I put up the sign nobody bought three turkeys."

Joke: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Joke: Two peanuts were walking through Central Park. One was assaulted!