Good Jokes

Joke: There was an English man, and Irish man and a German man on a plane. There is too much cabin pressure, so the captain comes up to the English man and says: YOU, DROP AN ITEM. He chose a stone. There is still too much cabin pressure, so he parachutes out. When he lands, a man is crying. He asks the man what is wrong. The man says : WELL, I WAS OUT HERE POLISHING MY JAG, AND THIS STONE CAME FROM THE SKY AND DENTED THE BONNET.Back up on the plane, the Irish man drops an item. He drops a knife. He too has to parachute out. When he lands, a woman is crying. The woman tells him : I WAS OUT HERE GARDENING, AND THIS KNIFE FELL FROM THE SKY AND CUT MY PRIZE MELON IN HALF. Back up on the plane, the German drops an item. He drops a bomb. He too parachutes to the ground, but to the sound of utter laughter. He says : WHATS SO FUNNY?. man says : I WAS OUT HERE GARDENING, I FARTED AND NEXT DOORS HOUSE BLEW UP!

Joke: John approaches a sales lady at a store and says "I would like to buy my wife some nice gloves."

The sales lady responds "Well that's a nice surprise!"

"Yeah it is," John continues, "She's expecting a diamond ring!"

Joke: What is brown and sticky?

Joke: A blonde woman walks into a library and walks up to the librarian. She tells her "I'll have a double cheese burger, medium fries, and a large drink."

The librarian, slightly annoyed, tells her "Honey, this is a library. Not a McDonald's."

The blonde, extremely embarrassed, whispers "I'm sorry. I'll have a double cheese burger, medium fries, and a large drink."

Joke: Why did Sally fall of the swing?
Because she had no arms!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Not Sally