Good Jokes

Joke: Have you heard of the new serious pills?

Joke: An Englishman, Frenchman, Spaniard, and a German are walking down the road and see a street performer juggling. The performer notices they are all squinting as they look at him so he asks, "Can you guys see me okay?"

They reply, "Yes" "Oui" "Si" "Ja!"

Joke: An old man on his death bed has spent his entire life pinching pennies and clinging to all of his money. Friendless, he is surrounded by his priest, doctor, and lawyer. Just before he dies he tells them, "I know most people say that you can't bring money with you after you die, but I want you to all throw this into my grave just as they are about to bury me." With this being said he hands them all envelopes with $50,000 in them.

After his funeral the three are discussing the money. The doctor says, "I have to confess something. I've really been wanting a vacation so I only threw $40,000 in."

The priest follows, "I must also confess. We are renovating the church so I only threw in $25,000. I feel terrible."

The lawyer lashes out at them, "You guys are terrible! Not only did I throw in the $50,000 he gave me, but I added my own $10,000."

The doctor replies, "Why in the world would you give that greedy man your money?"

The lawyer replies, "He was a good man so I wrote him a check for the full amount."

Joke: Did you hear about the man who had his penis in the Guinness Book of World Record?

Joke: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?