Funny Jokes

Joke: Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. At the neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at its mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!" The mother said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny." He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes. Did his doctor say he can see good?" The Mother said, "Why, yes... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision." Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a darn good thing, cause he sure as heck can't wear glasses!"

Joke: A group full of very ugly people die in a bus accident. When they come to God he grants them all one last wish. The first person says "I wish I was beautiful!" God makes them beautiful. This goes on and all of the people wish to be beautiful until he gets to the last person. The last person is laughing historically and God asks him "Why are you laughing?" The man replies "I wish they were all ugly again."

Joke: What do you call it when fruit takes money from a bank?

Joke: What do you call 4 blondes at a four-way stop?

Joke: Why are people always mad when you hand them their 80th birthday card?