Funny Jokes

Joke: A man and his wife have been happily married for 50 years and are out golfing like they often do. As the husband is teeing off he confesses, "I have something terrible to tell you, but I really hope you forgive me. Right after we got married I cheated on you. It was only once and it was a huge mistake, I've regretted it ever since."

His wife replies as she steps up to the tee, "I accept that and I understand. I have something I need to tell you."

The husband replies, "Anything honey, I'm just happy you're so relaxed about my mistake."

She tells him, "About a year before I met you, I had a sex change operation. I used to be a man."

He is shocked, "You son of a gun... How could you? For all of these years you've been teeing off from the ladies tee box you cheater!"

Joke: What do dwarfs and midgets have in common?

Joke: Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop when a bus pulls up. The first blonde leans into the bus and asks "Will this bus take me to 1st Avenue?"

The bus driver tells her no. The second blonde leans in and whispers "What about me?"

Joke: A kid from Texas is on the Yale campus for the very first time. He approaches a student and says, "Hey, can you tell me where the library is at?" The Yale student replies "At Yale, we don't end a sentence with a preposition." The kid says, "Sorry about that. Can you tell me where the library is at, jerk?"

Joke: A man walks into his doctor's office with a carrot in his ear and a banana in his nose. He asks, "What's wrong doc?"

The doctor replies, "You're not eating right."