Funny Jokes

Joke: What is the only kind of nail carpenters don't like to hammer?

Joke: Why don't people eat clocks?

Joke: A man got his house painted. When the painters were done they handed him the bill. He was surprised to find that the painters were not charging him for paint, just labor. He asked them, "You did a great job, why didn't you charge me for paint?"

The painter replies, "Don't worry about the paint, it's on the house."

Joke: A man explains to his girlfriend that his pants were especially made for dancing. She asks him, "Ballroom?"

He replies, "Not much."

Joke: A bear walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I'll have a gin ... ... ... and tonic."

The bartender replies, "What's with the big pause?"

The bear replies, "I don't know, my dad had them too."