Funny Jokes

Joke: What do you call an artist that works out of a dark alley?

Joke: A 17-year-old girl was mad at her dad because he always treated her like she was a little girl.

He gave her a gold star for standing up for herself.

Joke: A man's wife yells up the stairs to him, "The sun's finally come out!" He quickly throws shorts, flip flops, and a tank top on.

When he runs down stairs he sees his son holding his friend Tom's hand. The man's wife looks at him shocked, and says, "Oh God, not you too."

Joke: A man's wife comes up to him and tells him, "Take off my shirt." So he does.

She then tells him, "Take off my skirt and high heels." So he does.

Then she tells him, "Take off my bra and underwear." So he does.

Finally she tells him, "I better never find you wearing my clothes again."

Joke: Two men are walking by a restaurant and one of them says, "That smells amazing! Lets get something."

The other man replies, "But they don't let dogs in, what are we going to do with them."

The first man puts on a pair of sunglasses and has his friend do the same and says, "Follow my lead."

He starts to walk into the restaurant and the waiter stops him, "You cannot bring dogs in here sir."

The man gets offended, "Excuse me sir! This is my seeing eye dog, I am blind."

The waiter questions this, "But your dog is a pit bull?"

The man replies, "I know, I am a very important person, I need protection as well."

The first man passes through and the second man begins to walk through when the waiter stops him and asks him the same question. The man replies, "This is my seeing eye dog too."

The waiter replies, "Really? A chihuahua?"

The man freaks out, "What?! They gave me a chihuahua?!"