Joke: Two men are walking by a restaurant and one of them says, "That smells amazing! Lets get something."
The other man replies, "But they don't let dogs in, what are we going to do with them."
The first man puts on a pair of sunglasses and has his friend do the same and says, "Follow my lead."
He starts to walk into the restaurant and the waiter stops him, "You cannot bring dogs in here sir."
The man gets offended, "Excuse me sir! This is my seeing eye dog, I am blind."
The waiter questions this, "But your dog is a pit bull?"
The man replies, "I know, I am a very important person, I need protection as well."
The first man passes through and the second man begins to walk through when the waiter stops him and asks him the same question. The man replies, "This is my seeing eye dog too."
The waiter replies, "Really? A chihuahua?"
The man freaks out, "What?! They gave me a chihuahua?!"
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Joke: Once there was a young boy, around 8 years old, who lived in a village at the bottom of a hill. On top of the hill was a temple where monks lived. One day, he heard a strange sound coming from the top of the hill. Curious, he walks up the hill and knocks on the giant doors at the front of the temple. The head monk answers the door and asks what he can do for the kid. However, when the kid asks what the sound was, he simply replies, “I can’t tell you, you’re not a monk.” So the boy walks home sadly. 3 years later, he hears it again. Again, he was curious, and he thought it would bother him for life if he didn’t find out what it was. So he walked back up to the temple, knocked on the door, and was greeted by the head monk. Again, when asked about the sound, he responded with, “I can’t tell you, you’re not a monk.” Now, the kid is so desperate to find the sound that he asks, “Alright, how do I become a monk?” The head monk responds, “Young boy, In order to become a monk, you must count every grain of sand in Africa.” So once he turns 16, he drives to Africa and counts the sand. When he comes back, he’s 34 years old. He knocks on the temple door and the head monk answers. “I did it, I counted every grain of sand!” Surprised, the head monk says, “Truly? You are now a monk, and can now learn of the sound! You must find the key first.” The man says, “OK! Where is it?” “Back in Africa.” The man sighs, goes back to Africa and returns with the key. There are three fires in the way, so he jumps over the first fire, jumps over the second fire, and the key falls into the third fire. Terrified, he returns to the head monk. “Surely for a door that’s this important, there must be a spare key somewhere, right?” “Yeah, there’s one in the sheriff’s office at the bottom of the hill.” “Why couldn’t you tell me that first?” “It’s part of becoming a monk.” So the man goes to the sheriff’s office and gets the key. He jumps over the fires, unlocks the door, and finds out what the sound is.
Punch line: You wanna know what the sound is? I can't tell you, you're not a monk.