Funny Jokes

Joke: What did one mountain say to the other mountain?

Joke: What's the best way to comfort a grammar Nazi?

Joke: An atheist is swimming in the ocean and stops to get his bearings. He looks at all the people on the beach, the waves breaking, etc. and suddenly gets an eerie feeling. He turns to look out towards the ocean and sees a fin coming straight at him. The mouth opens up and he sees it's a shark with razor sharp teeth. He turns and looks how far the shore is away. He knows he can't outswim the shark. It gets closer and closer. At the last moment in a panic he yells out, " Oh God, please help me." God hears him and freezes time. He floats down to the atheist and says, "You don't even believe in me why should I help you?" And the man replies, "No I don't. The man looks at how far away the shore is and how sharp the shark's teeth are. He then gets an idea and says to God, " I know God can you make the shark believe in you?" God says, "Sure." Then floats back up to heaven and unfreezes time. The shark continue swimming up to the atheist and stops. It looks up to heaven and folds its fins and then says, "Lord thank you for this meal I am about to receive, amen!"

Joke: What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

Joke: Why would a cop pull over a U-Haul?