Atheist swim

Joke: An atheist is swimming in the ocean and stops to get his bearings. He looks at all the people on the beach, the waves breaking, etc. and suddenly gets an eerie feeling. He turns to look out towards the ocean and sees a fin coming straight at him. The mouth opens up and he sees it's a shark with razor sharp teeth. He turns and looks how far the shore is away. He knows he can't outswim the shark. It gets closer and closer. At the last moment in a panic he yells out, " Oh God, please help me." God hears him and freezes time. He floats down to the atheist and says, "You don't even believe in me why should I help you?" And the man replies, "No I don't. The man looks at how far away the shore is and how sharp the shark's teeth are. He then gets an idea and says to God, " I know God can you make the shark believe in you?" God says, "Sure." Then floats back up to heaven and unfreezes time. The shark continue swimming up to the atheist and stops. It looks up to heaven and folds its fins and then says, "Lord thank you for this meal I am about to receive, amen!"

Joke: Why did the lemon disown his daughter?

Joke: What's the best part of the new big rig movie?

Joke: My girl is like √-100. She's a 10, but she's also imaginary.

Joke: 2 guys walk on to a bar.One guy says duck. The other guy hit the bar.

Joke: If King Tut had a watchmaker, and that watchmaker had a favorite 80's movie, what would it be?