Funny Jokes

Joke: Is google a male or female? Female because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making suggestions.

Joke: Person: What is your name? Whoareyou: Whoareyou. Person: My name is Dan. How about you? Whoareyou: My name is...... Whoaeyou! Person: I SAID MY NAME IS DAN! SAY IT, ARE YOU DEAF! Whoareyou: I am not deaf. My name is..... Whoareyou! Person: Silly man. ( leaves )

Joke: Three men were told by God, " If you step on a duck, you shall marry the ugliest woman. However, if you do not step on a duck, you shall marry the most beautiful woman in all the land." The three men accepted. The first man stepped on a duck from not paying attention. The second man accidentally stepped on a duck in his son's room. The third man never stepped on a duck yet he was married to an ugly woman. He exclaims to God, "I have not stepped on a duck, why is my wife ugly?" Why has God given him an ugly wife?

Joke: A boy comes home from school ecstatic and tells his dad that gay marriage may soon be legal where they live.

His dad asks him, "Why are you so happy? You got a boyfriend?"

His son replies, "It's just the principle dad."

His father shrugs, "At least it's not the priest."

Joke: A woman walks up to the checkout line at a store with these items: 2% milk, bread, Pepsi, macaroni, and cookies. She sees a drunk man. The man says "You must be single."

The woman is startled. How could he have known? He didn't see her hands and the man couldn't have figured it out from her items. "How did you know?" she asked.

He replied, "Cause your ugly!"