Funny Jokes

Joke: A man owns a very large farm. One night one of his employees tip him off that there are a bunch of women skinny dipping in his pond. He rushes to the pond with a bucket.

When he approaches the pond all of the young women go to the deep end. One of them yells at him, "We aren't getting out until you go away!"

He replies, "Oh I'm not here to see any of you naked, I just want to feed the alligator."

Joke: Emma didn't get very much sleep last night so she kept falling asleep at Sunday school. While she was sleeping, her teacher decided to ask her a question, "Who created the universe?"

The boy sitting next to her, Joey, poked her with his pencil to help her our. She jumped up and yelled, "God!"

The teacher told her, "Good job!" and continued with the lesson.

Soon after the teacher asked Emma another question, "Who died for our sins?"

Again she is sleeping so Joey pokes her. She wakes up and yells, "Jesus Christ!"

The teacher praises her again and continues.

Not much time passes and the teacher asks Emma, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?"

Joey pokes her and she yells, "If you put that thing near me again, I'll snap it in half and shove it up your ass!"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Interruption snail.
Interrupting snail who?
*10 seconds pass*
Snail!

Joke: A kid was in the hospital because he ate six plastic horses. The doctor described his condition as stable.

Joke: Three blondes come to a river but can't figure out how to get across. One blonde says, "God, make me a fish so I can swim across the river." So she becomes a fish and swims across the river.

The next blonde woman says, "God, give me a canoe so I can make it across this river." A canoe pops up in the river and she makes it across.

The final blonde says, "God, make me smarter so I can make it across." Poof! She turns into a man and crosses the bridge.