Funny Jokes

Joke: An antique dealer is walking through town and sees a cat drinking milk from a saucer in a shop window. He is shocked when he realizes that the saucer is very rare and expensive.

He enters the shop and asks the owner "Hey, I really like the cat. Would you be willing to sell it to me?"

The store owner replies "Not for sale."

The antique dealer thinking quickly responds "I'll give you $100 for it."

The shop owner agrees and the antique dealer grabs the cat. He acts like he is about to leave then adds "Oh, would you mind throwing in the saucer, the cat seems to like it."

The shop owner replies "No, that's my lucky saucer. I've sold hundreds of cats since I got it."

Joke: A penguin is driving down the road when his car stops running. He takes it in to the nearest mechanic and takes a walk while they look at it. While walking he grabs some ice cream, then he heads back to the mechanic. The mechanic tells him, "Looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin blushes, "No, that's just ice cream."

Joke: A man went to his local observatory because his telescope was broken.

They said they'd look into it.

Joke: A prostitute is on the job for the first day. Trying to make friends, she asks the prostitute next to her, "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

The other woman replies, "Nope. But I was swung by my tits once!"

Joke: Why did the man take Viagra every night?