Funny Jokes

Joke: A man is sitting in his living room when his so opens the front door of their house and yells, "Dad!"

The father quickly yells to the son, "If you want to talk to me get in here!"

The son runs in with his shoes on, "Sorry, where's the hose? I stepped in some dog poo."

Joke: What do you call a fat psychic?

Joke: There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit the hotel bar. Upon arriving to the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied "Everything is big in Texas."

A little later the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped and entered the third door. This door lead to the swimming pool and he fell in by accident.

Scared to death, he started shouting "Don't flush, don't flush!"

Joke: Girlfriend: What are you doing?
Mathematician: Just wrestling with these unknowns in bed.
Girlfriend: What?!
Mathematician: Yeah. Just a minute ago I was working out some models.
*Hangs up*
Mathematician: Oh you thought... Hello?

Joke: What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair a different color?