Funny Jokes

Joke: How is an iPad like a pirate?

Joke: A man accidentally ate a bunch of Scrabble pieces. The doctor says his next poop could spell disaster.

Joke: "Go!" is the shortest sentence in the English language. What's the longest?

Joke: What do you call a cow that has no legs?

Joke: An Englishman is walking down the Irish countryside and stops at a river to take a drink. He cups a hand and gets some water. Just as he is about to drink a shepherd yells to him in a thick Irish accent, "Don't drink out the river, it's full of sheep pee!"

The Englishman replies, "I don't understand a word you are saying. I'm English. What'd you say?"

The shepherd replies, "Use both hands, you'll get more that way."