Funny Jokes

Joke: Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work?

Joke: A man with no arms went to a guitar shop. He grabs a guitar and asks the owner of the establishment, "How much for this one?"

The owner replies, "$300. If you don't mind me asking, how are you going to use it?"

The man replies, "I'll just play it by ear..."

Joke: Once there was a young boy, around 8 years old, who lived in a village at the bottom of a hill. On top of the hill was a temple where monks lived. One day, he heard a strange sound coming from the top of the hill. Curious, he walks up the hill and knocks on the giant doors at the front of the temple. The head monk answers the door and asks what he can do for the kid. However, when the kid asks what the sound was, he simply replies, “I can’t tell you, you’re not a monk.” So the boy walks home sadly. 3 years later, he hears it again. Again, he was curious, and he thought it would bother him for life if he didn’t find out what it was. So he walked back up to the temple, knocked on the door, and was greeted by the head monk. Again, when asked about the sound, he responded with, “I can’t tell you, you’re not a monk.” Now, the kid is so desperate to find the sound that he asks, “Alright, how do I become a monk?” The head monk responds, “Young boy, In order to become a monk, you must count every grain of sand in Africa.” So once he turns 16, he drives to Africa and counts the sand. When he comes back, he’s 34 years old. He knocks on the temple door and the head monk answers. “I did it, I counted every grain of sand!” Surprised, the head monk says, “Truly? You are now a monk, and can now learn of the sound! You must find the key first.” The man says, “OK! Where is it?” “Back in Africa.” The man sighs, goes back to Africa and returns with the key. There are three fires in the way, so he jumps over the first fire, jumps over the second fire, and the key falls into the third fire. Terrified, he returns to the head monk. “Surely for a door that’s this important, there must be a spare key somewhere, right?” “Yeah, there’s one in the sheriff’s office at the bottom of the hill.” “Why couldn’t you tell me that first?” “It’s part of becoming a monk.” So the man goes to the sheriff’s office and gets the key. He jumps over the fires, unlocks the door, and finds out what the sound is.

Joke: Why was the man so attached to his recliner?

Joke: The manager of a factory is looking to make the factory more cost efficient. He calls all of his employees to the floor and tells them, "The first man to come up with a great way for us to save money will get $5,000."

A man in front quickly raises his hand. The manager asks him, "That was quick, what's your idea Tom?"

Tom swiftly replies, "Make it $2,000?"