Math Jokes

Joke: A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician are called into the dean's office at a university. But the dean is called out of the office leaving the three researchers by themselves. Suddenly, a fire ignites in the wastepaper basket.

The physicist quickly says "I got this. All we have to do is lower the temperature of the material until it is below the ignition temperature."

The Chemist says "No, I've got a better idea. Lets take away the fire's oxygen supply so it doesn't have one of its reactants."

As they are arguing the statistician starts running around the room setting everything on fire. The other men yell at him "What are you doing?!"

He replies "I'm just trying to get an adequate sample size."

Joke: Why don't mathematicians drink?

Joke: Math Guy 1: Hey, if you take all of my past girlfriends they form a group.

Math Guy 2: How so?

Math Guy 1: If you put any 2 of them together they'll talk about another one.

Math Guy 2: But who's the identity?

Math Guy 1: I had a thing with a psychiatrist a while back...

Joke: A mathematician, a statistician, and an accountant are all up for the same job. The board asks each of them the same section, "What is 100 + 200?"

The mathematician replies, "300."

The statistician replies, "300, with 95 % certainty."

The accountant says in a hushed voice, "What do you want it to be?" He gets the job.

Joke: An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders 1/2 a beer, the third orders 1/4 a beer, etc. The bartender hands them two beers to share. The mathematicians say "Are we all supposed to share this?"

The bartender replies "Guys, you have to know your limits."