Dirty Jokes

 

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Joke: How are opinions like assholes?


Punch line: If you get paid to share your opinion with everybody, you must have a large opinion.


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Joke: Why do blondes snort Sweet & Low?


Punch line: They think it's diet coke.


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Joke: A woman is golfing with a couple of her friends. On the first hole she sinks a twenty-foot putt. On her way to the second hole she gets stung by a bee. It is extremely painful so she runs off the course to find a doctor. She is extremely lucky and runs into one. He asks her, "Where did the bee sting you?"

She replies, "Between the first and second hole!"

He says, "Well first of all, your stance is way to wide."


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Joke: If a man and a woman get married in Tennessee and they move to Michigan, are they still cousins?


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Joke: A husband and wife are having a night in. The wife is in the bathroom and the husband calls to her "Honey, you want to fool around?"

As the wife walks over to the bed she falls on her face and the husband says "Oh no! Honey, are you okay? Come here and I'll kiss it."

After they are done the wife gets up to use the bathroom again and falls once again. The husband looks at her, rolls over, and says "Clumsy bitch."


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