Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man turns forty so he goes to the doctor for his first rectal exam. A week later he comes in for another rectal exam and the doctor says "I guess you can never be too safe."

Two days later the man comes in requesting the same exam and the doctor says "Are you sure? I guess it's your money."

Suddenly the doctor feels a prick on his finger. He says "Here's your problem, you have a dozen roses in your rectum."

The man grins at him and says "Read the card. Read the card!"

Joke: A little boy catches his dad looking at porn and asks him "Dad, what's that between the guys legs?"

The father responds "That's his third leg."

Then the little boy asks "What about that lady?"

The father replies "Well that's her second mouth."

The little boy thinks for a while and says "Is that why guys walk so fast and women talk so much?"

Joke: A hotel is raided for prostitution and the police line up all of the girls outside. One of the girl's grandmother walks by and asks her "Dear, why are you all lined up?"

She tells her grandmother "The police are giving out free oranges to everybody here."

The grandmother sticks around to get her orange. When the cop gets to her he asks her "You're still doing this at your age? How do you do it?"

The grandmother replies "Well, I just take out my teeth and suck em' dry."

Joke: What happened when Snoopy found out his girlfriend was cheating on him?

Joke: A guy and a girl are just finishing up having sex in the guys dorm and the girl turns in says "I can't believe I did it! I'm not a virgin anymore."

The guy hears her and asks "So I was your first?"

She replies "Yeah, I always told myself I would wait for the man I loved, my soul mate."

The guy smiles and asks "So you really love me?"

The girl answers "God no! I just got over that silly dream."