Dirty Jokes

Joke: A husband and wife are having a night in. The wife is in the bathroom and the husband calls to her "Honey, you want to fool around?"

As the wife walks over to the bed she falls on her face and the husband says "Oh no! Honey, are you okay? Come here and I'll kiss it."

After they are done the wife gets up to use the bathroom again and falls once again. The husband looks at her, rolls over, and says "Clumsy bitch."

Joke: An old married couple was sitting on their porch in rocking chairs.

The old man grabs his wives breasts saying 'if these still made milk we wouldn't need the cows.' The old woman remains silent so he moves his hand.

A little later he reaches over and grabs her crotch and says 'if this still laid eggs we wouldn't need chickens.' The woman remains silent so he moves his hand.

A few minutes later, the woman grabs the old man's dick and says 'if that worked we wouldn't need your brother.'

Joke: Are the Tickle Me Elmo dolls male or female?

Joke: A blonde woman brings a letter to the Post Office. The man examines the letter and says it will be $500, surprised she exclaims, "I don't have that much money... I'll do ANYTHING to contact my mother."

He has the blonde follow him into a back room. He unzips his pants and takes out his penis. She gets on her knees and brings it to her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"

Joke: What's the difference between good pussy and good weed?