Dirty Jokes

Joke: A guy was sending dirty photos to his girlfriend, but he accidentally sent a photo of his bottom half to his grandma. She had bad sight so he didn't think much of it. Later that week she calls him and says "You're looking good, but I don't like your haircut. It makes your nose look too big."

Joke: A husband and wife are having a night in. The wife is in the bathroom and the husband calls to her "Honey, you want to fool around?"

As the wife walks over to the bed she falls on her face and the husband says "Oh no! Honey, are you okay? Come here and I'll kiss it."

After they are done the wife gets up to use the bathroom again and falls once again. The husband looks at her, rolls over, and says "Clumsy bitch."

Joke: A grandpa sees his grandson has a condom in his wallet and asks him "What's that?"

The grandson embarrassed, replies "They keep your cigarettes dry in the rain."

The following day the grandpa sees a man buying condoms and cigarettes at a gas station and tries to start a conversation "I bet your gonna put a long camel in those."

Joke: A grandpa sees his grandson has a condom in his wallet and asks him "What's that?"

The grandson embarrassed, replies "They keep your cigarettes dry in the rain."

The following day the grandpa sees a man buying condoms and cigarettes at a gas station and tries to start a conversation "I bet your gonna put a long camel in those."

Joke: Three strangers are sitting at a bar quietly. One of the men goes to the bathroom and the two remaining men start to talk "How's life?"

The other man says "Pretty good, I just got promoted and bought my girlfriend a Mercedes. How about you?"

The other man replies "No complaints. Me and my girlfriend just got a house down in California."

The third man comes back from the bathroom with a grin on his face. The other men ask him why he is so happy and he says "My girlfriend just called me and said she is taking me to California for the weekend in her new Mercedes!"