Dirty Jokes

Joke: A very religious woman has a parrot that prays. He sits at the bottom of his cage whispering prayers all day. She brags about her bird to everyone she meets.

One day she is bragging and a man says that he has a female parrot who is always swearing. They decide that it would be a good idea to put them together so the female parrot can learn from the praying male parrot.

So the man brings his female parrot over and they put her in the cage. The male parrot looks up at her from his prayer and says "Thank Jesus! My prayers have been answered!"

Joke: A man is checking into a hotel with his family and whispers to the clerk, "I hope the porn channels are disabled."

The clerk whispered back, "Nope, it's just regular porn you sick bastard."

Joke: A prostitute is on the job for the first day. Trying to make friends, she asks the prostitute next to her, "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

The other woman replies, "Nope. But I was swung by my tits once!"

Joke: How are men like spiders?

Joke: A guy is going down on his girlfriend and says, "Man you have a big pussy! Man you have a big pussy!"

She snaps back, "Why'd you say it twice?"

He replies, "I didn't..."