Dirty Jokes

 

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Joke: What did the banana say to the vibrator?


Punch line: Why are you shaking?! She's not going to eat you!


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Joke: What can we learn from surprise morning blowjobs?


Punch line: Don't sleep with your mouth open.


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Joke: Why are blowjobs from midgets the best?


Punch line: It feels great to be blown out of proportion!


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Joke: A guy is driving through the countryside. He looks over at a hill and sees a shepherd fucking a sheep in broad daylight. He yells, "Hey! Where I come from, we sheer 'em!"

The shepherd, without pausing from his activities yells back "Sheer 'em? You can get yer own damn sheep!"


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Joke: A man's penis is severed in a car accident. He is crushed but is awarded $90,000 in a lawsuit afterwards. But while he's at the doctor's office his doctor tells him there is a new surgery for penis reconstruction. He can get a new penis for $10,000 an inch. Extremely happy he says, "I have to talk to my wife! I'll be back tomorrow to tell you how long we want it!"

The next day the man returns and the doctor asks him how long he wants it. Dejected the man replies, "We're getting a new kitchen."


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