Dirty Jokes

Joke: Why's an abortion clinic the worst place to lock your keys in your car?

Joke: What is the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

Joke: A man walks into his doctor's office. His doctor tells him, "Your wife's results came back positive. I can't remember if it was AIDS or Alzheimer's though."

The man replies, "That's not very helpful. Can you just test her again?"

The doctor replies, "How about you leave her in the middle of the forest and if she finds her way home don't fuck her."

Joke: A man explains to his girlfriend that his pants were especially made for dancing. She asks him, "Ballroom?"

He replies, "Not much."

Joke: There are 4 types of orgasms: the Holy Orgasm, the Positive Orgasm, the Accidental Orgasm, and the Fake Orgasm.

The Holy Orgasm sounds like, "Oh God! Oh God!"

The Positive Orgasm sounds like, "Oh yes! Oh yes!"

The Accidental Orgasm sounds like, "Oh shit! Oh shit!"

The fake orgasm sounds like, "Oh *INSERT YOUR NAME HERE*!"