Dirty Jokes

Joke: After twenty years of marriage a man and his wife go to the hotel they celebrated their first night of marriage in. The wife strips her clothes off and asks, "What did you think when you saw me naked for the first time?"

The husband replies, "I wanted to fuck you stupid and suck those titties dry."

She smiles and asks him, "What do you think now?"

He replies, "I think I did a pretty damn good job."

Joke: A woman walks into a bar and sees a frog in a cage behind the counter. She asks the bartender, "What's with the frog?"

He replies, "He performs oral sex on women."

She has a few drinks and curiosity gets the best of her so she asks for the frog. The bartender takes the frog out and puts it down there. The frog does nothing for a minute so the bartender says, "Okay, watch closely, I'm only going to show you one more time."

Joke: What did the man say after having sex for an hour and 45 seconds?

Joke: What's the difference between three dicks and a joke?

Joke: A woman wants to find a husband so she puts out an ad "I'm looking for a man that won't hit me, won't run away, and can satisfy me."

A week later she hears a very loud knock at the door. She answers it and it is a man with no arms or legs, he says "I won't beat you, I have no arms. I won't run away, I have no legs."

She replies "And how do you know you can satisfy me?"

He grins and says "Did you hear me knocking?"