Dirty Jokes

Joke: Why do abstinence parties always suck?

Joke: What kind of fish do priests eat?

Joke: A guy and a girl are just finishing up having sex in the guys dorm and the girl turns in says "I can't believe I did it! I'm not a virgin anymore."

The guy hears her and asks "So I was your first?"

She replies "Yeah, I always told myself I would wait for the man I loved, my soul mate."

The guy smiles and asks "So you really love me?"

The girl answers "God no! I just got over that silly dream."

Joke: A king is going on a very long trip. He wants to keep his wife faithful so he has a chastity built made for her. This is a very special belt because inside there is a miniature guillotine that cuts off any man's member who tries to get through it.

When he returns from his trip he tells all of his men to pull down their pants and he discovers that all but one of them are missing their members. The one man that still has his member is Sir John.

The king says "Good sir, you are the only man who I can trust. If you want anything just say the word."

Sir John replies "UNG! UH! UNG!"

Joke: Three pregnant women are discussing their babies and the first says "I know I'm going to have a boy, I'm always on the bottom when we have sex."

The second woman says "I'm definitely going to have a girl, I'm always on top."

The final woman eyes get wide as she says "If that's how it works I guess I'm having a doggy."