Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man walks into a bar and approaches a beautiful woman. He asks her, "Would you have sex with me for $10,000?"

She thinks about it for a minute and replies quietly, "Yes."

To this he asks, "What about $100?"

She is outraged, "What kind of girl do you think I am?"

He laughs, "We already have that established, now we are just negotiating the price."

Joke: What's the best part of a blowjob?

Joke: A couple has been happily married for ten years and have 4 kids. But for their entire relationship they have never had sex with the lights on because the husband refuses to ever have sex with the lights on. But one night, his wife decides to flick the lights on in the middle of sex. When she does she looks down and sees her husband using a dildo instead of his penis.

She becomes furious and yells at him, "Have you been doing this our entire relationship? You have some explaining to do!"

He looks at her, stunned, and says, "I'll explain this when you explain the kids."

Joke: What is long and hard that every polish woman gets on her wedding night?

Joke: A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a zoophile, a necrophiliac, and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution. "Let's have sex with a cat." Suggested the zoophile. "Let's have sex with a cat and then torture it," suggests the sadist. "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it and then kill it!" shouted the murderer. "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophiliac. "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it" said the pyromaniac. There was silence, then the masochist said: "Meow."