Dirty Jokes

Joke: One day Tom sees Joe's wife naked sunbathing in their backyard. When Tom sees Joe he brags "I've seen your wife naked."

To get back at him Joe sneaks into Tom's yard the next night and sees his wife performing oral sex. Joe sees Tom a couple of days later and tells him "Guess what? I saw your wife giving you oral a couple of days ago."

Tom laughs and replies "Good try, I wasn't in town a couple of days ago!"

Joke: Why is sex with a hipster so boring?

Joke: A man is walking down the street and sees a woman with extremely large boobs. As he is passing her he asks, "If I gave you $100 could I bite your boobs?"

She tells him to back off and continues on her way. Then he catches up to her and asks, "If I gave you $1,000 could I bite your boobs?"

Again she refuses and yells at him. But once again he catches up. This time he asks her, "If I gave you $10,000 could I bite your boobs?"

She decides that that is too much money to pass up, so she agrees. She takes off her shirt and bra. He fondles them and bounces them with his hands for a while until she asks, "Well aren't you going to bite them?"

He replies "No thanks, that's too expensive."

Joke: What's the difference between a farmer with epilepsy and a whore that has diarrhea?

Joke: What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?