Dirty Jokes

Joke: What three words does no woman want to hear during sex?

Joke: It's fun to listen to Russian mothers talk to their kids.

Instead of saying "talk" they say "tak."

Instead of saying 'want' they say "vant."

The cutest one is when they try to tell them "I love you", it usually comes out "You're a fucking disappointment."

Joke: How is the Pope like a Christmas tree?

Joke: A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a zoophile, a necrophiliac, and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution. "Let's have sex with a cat." Suggested the zoophile. "Let's have sex with a cat and then torture it," suggests the sadist. "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it and then kill it!" shouted the murderer. "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophiliac. "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it" said the pyromaniac. There was silence, then the masochist said: "Meow."

Joke: What's the difference between your penis and your paycheck?