5 ratings
1 saves
Joke: A blonde and a brunette decide to rob a bank. When they show up at the bank they go over the instructions one last time. The brunette tells the blonde, "Remember, in and out in five minutes." With this the blonde runs into the bank.
The brunette waits and waits and waits in the van. Finally, the blonde bursts out of the door dragging a giant safe by a rope. The security guard chases her out of the bank with his pants around his ankles trying to grab his gun. The blonde ties the safe to the van, gets in the van, and they speed away.
As they drive away, dragging the safe, the brunette is furious. She yells at the blonde, "Dumb ass! You were supposed to tie up the guard and blow the safe!"
10 ratings
2 saves
Joke: When you read a book about how bad smoking is for you, you quit smoking.
When you read a book about how bad drinking is for you, you quit drinking.
When you read a book about how bad sex is for you, you quit reading.
4 ratings
1 saves
Joke: Four blondes are sitting outside on Christmas Eve. Santa flies by and cheers, "Ho, ho, ho!"
One of the blondes yells back, "Hey! What about me Santa?"
8 ratings
0 saves
Joke: A man and woman have been married for 30 years. One morning, while in bed, the husband tells his wife, "Honey, I can't get rid of this morning wood, could you help me out?"
The wife rolls over and takes off all of her clothes.
The man rolls back over and says, "Thanks dear."
10 ratings
0 saves
Joke: Three men go to hell and they immediately meet the devil. He tells them, "Alright guys, you get to pick one of these three rooms to spend eternity in."
The devil opens up the first door revealing a room full of people standing on their heads on a hard wood floor. He opens up the next door to reveal a room full of people standing on their heads on a cement floor. Finally, he opens up the final door revealing a room full of people standing waist deep in shit drinking coffee.
All of the men choose door 3 because it is less crowded, you get to stand, and you get to drink coffee. As soon as they walk into the room the devil says, "Alright, coffee break's over. Back onto your heads!"