Dirty Jokes

Joke: The dove is the bird of peace and the hawk is the bird of war. What is the bird of true love?

Joke: John was a man who, like many people, ate out of boredom. He would often eat things just because they were in front of him.

This is how he lost his job as a gynecologist.

Joke: Wife: Do I look fat in these jeans?
Husband: Can I be completely honest with you without you getting mad?
Wife: Of course!
Husband: And you won't get mad?
Wife: Yeah.
Husband: Okay... I fucked your sister.

Joke: A girl walks up to her father and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"

He looks at her and decides it's time. So he tells her about the birds and the bees, masturbation, sperm, pregnancy, and STD's. After a lengthy speech he asks her, "So what made you ask about sex?"

She replies, dumbfounded, "Mommy said lunch would be ready in a couple of sex."

Joke: A taxi driver picks up three drunk guys. He knows their drunk so he turns the car on, sits there for a second, and turns it off. Then he said "Here we are!"

The first guy hands him the money and the second guy thanks him. But the third guy slaps him hard on the face. The taxi driver is surprised he figured it out, but asks him "What the hell?"

The man replies "You need to slow down next time, you almost killed us."